In my first blog of 2009, I want to share with you some helpful thoughts on handling the criticisms that will come your way this year. A primary consideration for handling criticism is to consider its source. Some critics can be your “best friends” in whatever you are attempting to accomplish. God puts such people in our paths for our benefit. Others can be detrimental to us if we take them too seriously. They may well be obstacles to our Christian health if we accept their criticism out of a false sense of “piety and obligation.” We may find ourselves being tossed about “by every wind” of criticism.
Jesus did not accept every criticism leveled at Him! It seems like He was always being criticized, mostly by “religious” people. His reaction was to discern their spirits, and then respond to them accordingly.
A very wise man once said, “I will accept criticism only from someone who has something to gain from my success. Some think you ought to keep an open mind, but if you keep it too open, people throw garbage in it.”
Here are some questions that may help discern our critic’s spirit:
A. “What action on your part brought on the criticism?”
B. “What motivated the person to criticize?”
C. “Do they have a critical spirit?’
D. “Is their intent to help or hurt us.., constructive or destructive?”
Asking questions of this kind will help us identify genuine, honest, interested critics who have our best at heart. These critics feel a responsibility for our welfare, or that of the organization, and are the easiest to turn into coaches! They usually have thought of a solution to the problem they are criticizing! These people are like buoys in the river: they help to keep you in the channel. Value them!
The ideal would be for us to always be able to turn critics into coaches. Realistically, this just will not happen. One way of having a greater success ratio, however, would be to model what we want. In other words, if we want people to have a right spirit and a right purpose when they criticize, we must also be sure of our motives when and if we criticize! Is our criticism motivated by a desire to see them succeed in their gifts and callings.? Can we offer a legitimate solution to the problem? If not, then we need to restrain our tongue. “It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness!” Invalid criticism is like “cursing the darkness.” I have found that it doesn’t really change things.
DaveinFlorida